Thursday, March 22, 2012

Clean or Worn, Which Do You Trust?

So I was thinking, when something is worn out and beat up and dirty from traveling (either literally or figuratively) we trust that it knows a thing or two just by looking at it. Like say, your grandpa, who is not actually beat up or dirty as he most likely bathes regularly, but rather, we can tell he knows a thing or two simply from history etched into the callouses in his hands and from the depth in his eyes that tell you there are a few stories you've never heard before.

Let's draw from another example. Let's go with the Ranger. Maybe it's the Lone Ranger, he fights for justice, so we like to trust him, or maybe a park ranger at Yellowstone, they keep us safe and informed. Now comes my question, who would you trust more? The park ranger who has tanned skin, worn boots, a beard, and eyes that tell you they've seen every mile of trails the park has to offer and then some? Or the guy with the brand new uniform and a look on his face like he's not sure where the nearest rest room is? It's obvious right? The second one hands down! The first one is obviously a deranged serial killer who has stolen the uniform from one of his victims and has been hiding out in the expanse of wilderness for months. Just kidding, the first one is the right answer, sorry to derail you. Congrats to everyone that didn't fall for my joke. Why do we look at someone like that and think, "I'll ask him where ______ is." Because he looks like he's probably been there and back a few times.

Speaking of rangers that have been there and back again...

Look at the following pictures and tell me who you would want to lead you through an unfamiliar forest.

Here we have option A:
First off, he has a horse.

Second, notice the trail worn leather jerkin and belts... Obviously been wearing them for a while, and I'm sure they were new once upon a time, but no one remembers when that was.

Note also the long hair. He clearly hasn't seen a barber in a while. Maybe he likes it that way you might think, and maybe you're right, but I think he's just been away from cities for so long he hasn't gotten the chance for a proper cut.

The scruff. That just shouts confidence and street cred.

The shiny necklace that definitely belongs to a girl. This means there's someone somewhere waiting for him. As you can plainly see, this guy has been through more than you have, and he still plans on getting back. So, if a guy like this walks into the clearing in the woods where you are, ladies, he's taken, so don't go pining and sighing for him, (besides he's like, 83 or something) but you can trust him to get you out of the woods safely, cuz he sure as heck ain't letting something stupid like a bear or a thousand miles keep him from his true love. Don't fret, there's someone out there for you too, you just haven't met him yet.

Now look to the right.

This is option B.

This guy looks pretty legit. He's got the hooded cloak, and the bow and arrows, and the sword and the leather jerkin and the belts...

But we can't see his face, which means we can't tell if he has that awesome scruff or long hair that prove he's been on his own for a while. And he's not wearing something that definitely belongs to a girl, so it's pretty safe to say there's no "driving will to return home to his beloved" to save you from that bear.

Plus, everything is CLEAN, I'm not trusting no ranger with clean clothes. He doesn't look like he's been anywhere near the range.

There are signs of civilization. He's standing by a wall for goodness sake.

And finally, there is absolutely no horse.

I wonder if that's why people like the jeans with pre-worn holes in them... Does it make them feel like they've had experience? Because it doesn't make me believe it.

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