Monday, December 20, 2010



So I went to see tron on Saturday and I have to say it was a thrilling ride. I really want a Light Cycle. Real bad. The technology is where the imagination was all those years ago when special effects were a trial and error process, with heavy reliance on camera tricks, and the results are spectacular. I loved it. Everything was so smooth and shiny, and the vehicles, suits, discs, and terrain were intricate and elegantly simple at the same time.

I think they did a really good job on the story, filling in the things you needed to know without making you wish they would move on, providing the characters with believable emotions and enough development you got a feeling of where they were coming from.

A tid bit of info I found pretty cool was that the costume designers wanted to make the suits actually light up and with whatever high falootin' techno gadgetry of this modern age they had they made the suits light up. I think that is awesome. I also want a Light suit.
I love the music in this movie! It's so old+new and awesome. Daft punk make a cameo in this movie and they look pretty cool I must say. Not only do they look amazing but the soundtrack to this movie is incredible, the bass is so low and the treble so trebly and the beats so head bobbing good. Then they fill out the electronica sound with symphonic bliss and the resulting audio elixir will cure whatever ails you.

I would like to give this movie a high five because it did what lots of movies try to do but didn't have to put in all the crap Hollywood usually insists must be present for a movie to be a success.

Go see this movie and you'll have lots of good fun. My girlfriend even liked it, and she's "not a nerd".

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Winter Wonderland

Life is a funny thing. Sometimes it doesn't let you breathe between smacks in the face and sometimes it is just peaceful and serene. It's finals right now for both my school and my work, I work at a University in Testing Services. I took my final for Psychology yesterday and basically owned it so that is a load off the mind. I still have to deal with finals for the rest of the week at work though.

Those of you I talk to frequently will know by now that I have a girlfriend. Those of you who don't know this still you're dumb because if you read the last sentence you should know this too. Anyway, her name is Julie and she's pretty awesome. As you can see she likes to dress up and in this picture is a gypsy (selfnamed Sapphira, [I added Jewel in the Night]). I'm dressed as a thief/rogue named Akos Amun Semajj (the White Falcon, The Hidden one). We went to three Halloween parties together like this and went to a masquerade party before those. The girl loves to dress up. I was surprised that I had not found out about this interest of hers before then. When she found out what I was dressing up as she told me her thoughts were "I can't be out dressed by a guy!" so she bought a corset!

We have known each other for a few months having met through a mutual friend. I started to notice her shortly afterward but eventually just took her presence for granted. During a Stake YSA activity to a corn maze I started to flirt with her and sent her a few texts later that night. She said later that she was totally confused because I didn't usually act like that with her, but she took notice and I ended up on her Radar Screen of Potential. After that I had asked if she wanted to come to a Masquerade ball and she bought a mask for it and came.

There was a dating workshop put on by Alisa Goodwin Snell on the 20th of November and it was free! So I'm a fan of free stuff and I like dating, and I also like learning new things... especially stuff that pertains to life and stuff. So I went and Julie went too, and afterward I knew that she would know what I was doing or meaning by doing certain things because she went to the workshop. That made communication 1,000,000 times easier. I guess we started being exclusive on the 1st of December and it's been pretty fun to get to know her family and to spend time with her.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010


So, for my birthday, I received a box of crackers and a book. The book was freaking awesome. It's 'The Way of Shadows' and focuses on an individual who grows up as a guild rat (think Oliver Twist, orphans who all pack together and are governed by the older kids) and becomes the apprentice to a wetboy. (this is a quote from the book) "Wetboys are like assassins in the way tigers are like kittens." yeah, wetboys are crazy. So while I read the book I ate my Chicken in a Biscuit crackers and all in all things were good. But I kind of felt like my birthday had been kinda lame, no parties, two presents, so I splurged on myself a bit and got an iPod Touch. I like it a lot. I got a cover for it that is only a thin skin. I like that it stays the same dimensions this way but I dislike fingerprints and what not on shiny objects, so this is perfect.

I'm still alive, and having fun. I'll post something about my psychological and emotional state as regarding females in a different post, when I feel like it.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Statement: Letters I've written / time = satisfied recipient. False

As evidenced by my lack of consistency in blogging I am not the best at keeping up on things in the writing department. My journal is pretty much non-existent, and I almost never write letters to the friends and family who are on missions. I LOVED getting letters on the mission and it seemed like it was forever between them sometimes.

Time moves differently in different places. Einstein said time was relative, and besides his theory of relativity, dealing with time based on speeds and whatnot, I think that time moves differently based on experiences you are living through at the moment. In my life now I wake up and do a few things, go to work, go home, play games or read a book or hang out with friends and the days slip by like a Lamborghini on the Autobahn. On the mission every day was planned out, and while the elements of each day were pretty much the same it was always a bit different. Every hour of every day was planned out and I was able to be more aware of time passing as each planned event had it's season and moved into the past in a tangible way.

It's been over six months. I've written 0 letters over that time. Correction, I've written at least one, started a couple, and written dozens in the recesses of my mind. Something is disconnected between my mind and my hand. I don't know how to start in this particular case, not that I'm all that terrific at writing letters anyway. I have wanted to say so many things but none of those thoughts have ever coalesced into tangible words and phrases, not to mention my memories of this friend of mine are very bitter-sweet. I have thoughts and/or memories cross my mind every day, which only makes it harder to pick up a pen and spill the contents of my current life to someone, who, in a past realm, played a primary role in it.

I try to distract myself from this past, my past. I don't often feel much when the thoughts dance in my mind, and if I do it's usually a nice feeling with just a little bit of a crumpled edge, like that book you love that you got mad at because one of your favorite characters did something stupid and you threw the book and then remorsefully picked it back up and kept reading. The book is never quite the same, oh the story is, and your favorite parts are all still there, but there's that constant reminder of that time you lost your cool and hurt your friend. I find it hard to stay distracted when one of the biggest reminders is one of my favorite things: Sunsets, and those don't happen EVERY DAY! The sky in general is a big one too. It is also hard that I still have suppressed feelings for her, and that I haven't had anything close to a real relationship since the crap hit the fan last year. I guess I'm a bit leery of that kind of thing and I'm still stuck on her as well.

I really ought to send her something. I don't want her thinking that she is an awful person or something, distracting her from her performance as a missionary. I don't know what will happen when I start writing, I don't want it to become a can of worms.


Oh, and all the above doesn't really help with my life right now. There's this amazing girl (smart, fun, pretty, spiritual, talented) and she likes me, which is great, I'm just having trouble (been having the same trouble for ...well a year actually) liking her back the same way. I want to, but I don't know how to let myself. I have been trying to figure that out, and this last week I have been thinking especially hard on this subject, when I received a letter from afore mentioned missionary friend this week as well. It happens to be exactly one year ago this week that all the back and forth stuff took place with her and shoved me into my protective shell. Now I'm dealing with a fresh re-acquaintance with my emotions while trying to be fair to someone else. Why was that letter sent and then received at the most inopportune time?

Monday, May 10, 2010


Whew! I made it through another semester. I'm kinda sleepy, but that has nothing to do with anything.

I love my computer. It has been a blast to use and it's so quick. We're friends he and I, and life is good. I have gotten a couple things for him since my last post describing the components. I got a new CPU cooling fan to replace the stock fan and heat-sink, a Zalman CNPS9700 LED 110mm 2 Ball CPU Cooler, it's all copper and it looks like a turbine. I like that it can keep my CPU at or under 25ºC even when I am running iTunes and Need For Speed Shift at the same time for two hours. It used to get up to around 33ºC with the stock fan and heat-sink. I also got a 1TB HDD to expand my storage, but when I got it from it was broken, so I had to send it back but the one they sent works great!

Then just recently I purchased a new PSU or power supply unit, as I also want to upgrade my graphics card eventually, and most require more than a 400 watt PSU like the one I have now. I really like the blue light that my Raidmax 400W PSU has so I got one with a blue light. Now the typical girl would say that's why she wanted it, it's purty and has a blue light, but I'm not a girl at all so the blue light is just an ambiance thing. The manly thing is that it has more power than my current one: 700Watts =) (you can just hear Tim Taylor going "Oh oh oh!" in the background).
It's manufactured by Apevia and one of the other things I like about it is that it has cable sheathing so you don't have so many squirly cables. It's not modular, meaning that you can remove or add power cables as you need them reducing clutter, but that's ok with me. I'm still on the search for a graphics upgrade, but I am sure one will turn up, though I am worried that I'll want a really expensive one... but on the bright side, it would be very powerful =) . Power is good.

Real good.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Compy 4086

The title is in reference to a wonderfully funny series of flash animations from HomestarRunner. There are hours of Sbemails (strong bad is the character that answers the emails) and in the earlier ones he has an old computer and as it passes on he gets a new one, and it dies so he gets a new one, and that goes away so he gets the latest one. It starts out as Compy 286 then Compy 386 followed by Lappy 486 and then the Compe. They each get better in ridiculously minuscule ways and their features are always overly outlandish. It's awesome.

I'm building a computer. It's going to be much better than my laptop and not in outlandish or minuscule ways either. That's why it's the Compy 4086, because it's a thousand times better. Ok, well, I don't know how accurate that is... but it's safe to say this new beast will be much more awesome, in many more ways.

I issue a warning to readers: this next little bit is going to sound very foreign to you unless you know computers.

These are the specs of my new beast
AMD Phenom II X4 945 Deneb 3.0GHz 4 x 512KB L2 Cache 6MB L3 Cache Socket AM3 95W Quad-Core Processor


A-DATA 4GB (2 x 2GB) 240-Pin DDR3 SDRAM DDR3 1333 (PC3 10666) Dual Channel Kit Desktop Memory

POWERCOLOR Radeon HD 5670 (Redwood) 512MB 128-bit GDDR5 PCI Express 2.1 x16 HDCP Ready CrossFireX Support Video Card
with DirectX 11
Western Digital Caviar Black 750GB 7200 RPM 32MB Cache SATA 3.0Gb/s 3.5" Hard Drive

RAIDMAX RX-400AF 400W ATX12V / EPS12V 80 PLUS BRONZE Certified Power Supply

Inside a
RAIDMAX Skyline ATX-948WS Black SECC ATX Mid Tower Computer Case

With a
Hanns·G Black 20" 5ms HDMI Widescreen LCD Monitor

Yeah... I like. Not all the parts are here yet though, but they are on their way. :D so excited!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Deremy Forethew

Well, the ball was awesome. It was a fiasco first though. My date called me a few minutes before she got home so I could come drop off the mask and give her time to do her makeup and get all gussied up for the ball. I got there about five minutes later and she was in the driveway with her car's hood up and a phone to her ear. I stepped out and approached her, very aware now of the distraught look on her face. It was pretty obvious with one look at the engine that all was not right and I stepped closer to inspect it; her voice, not quite as steady as she would like, in the ambiance. It was her uncle, a very talented mechanic who unfortunately lives in another state, and she was trying to describe the scene in front of her. It was like a vascular eruption of the vehicular mobilius or maybe an automotive arterial hemorrhage. Oil was everywhere. After talking to her uncle for a bit she asked me where her dipstick was and after looking around for a couple seconds I determined that she didn't have one. I could see where it was supposed to be but it wasn't there. More like it was banished. The part of the tube the dipstick handle rests on there at the top was blown out like the results of an explosive in a pipe. I tired to console her as best I could and she promised to be happy later and have a good time at the Ball, but shortly after I left she called with sad news. She had to take the car to the shop immediately and that meant she wouldn't be coming. :( sad day.

Three hours. That's how long I had till the Ball started. Two tickets + no date = time to call everyone you know. I called and called and called. Left messages, asked those I talked to if they might know someone... those missionary skills coming into use again ;) and no one could go. Then one of my friends called me back saying she talked to a friend of hers that lived fairly close to where the ball was being held and said she would be willing to go. Sweet! So we went and had a great time and laughed and danced and wore sweet masks.

On Sunday I went to this great fireside, like I mean one of my favorites. Ever. It was a dating counselor named Alisa Goodwin Snell and she had so many insights and tips it was mind boggling. I seriously learned some great stuff. How to convey confidence, not falling into the "too nice guy" trap, having a good "rejection plan" for when she turns you down, how to spot when they are interested, and plenty of other stuff. Here's her website. Holy cow, I have felt like I can't seem to get ahead in this stupid game and really it's been like walking around with a bow and no arrows. Now "I'm Deremy Forethew, I'm the archer!" I love it! Dang I wish more people had been there. There were so many things that she told the guys, and she told the girls a whole slew of things that they needed to be aware of. She said, "Most men know they don't understand women, but most women think they understand men, but they don't. They REALLY don't."

Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Ball

I will of course be updating this after it actually happens, but there's a Masquerade Ball tomorrow. I'm pumped. Every time I told anyone about it they were really excited and would say something like, "Oh man that sounds fun! I've always wanted to go to one of those!" Then I would ask if they wanted to come and they were kinda hesitant. Wait- I thought you said you wanted to go! .... grr.

I found a date to it. She's from my ward and she's cool. I liked how excited she started getting at the end of our "planning" session. I went over to her house and she tried on all the different masks I had and we figured out which mask she was going to use, what dress she would wear, which shoes, and her hair style and make-up. I know what I'm going to do so I can hardly wait.

Out of Nowhere

Stuff totally happens when you're not looking. Out riding your bike, you look down or away for some reason, and then BAM!! you hit that parked car or trash can or whatever. On Dr. Who there are these creatures that look like angel statues when you look at them but really they exist only when nothing sees them, if anything does they turn to stone so they can't be killed. Oh, and they are super dangerous. And super fast, if you look away, too late. If you blink, too late. On nature programs which gazelle gets nailed by the lion? The one that wasn't paying attention just a split second longer than his buddies. Which flock of birds get sucked into the jet turbine of a commercial airliner? The ones that forget to check the flight paths and scheduled flights for the day.

Well, bad things aren't the only stuff that can happen when you're not paying attention, it's just more likely it seems. I almost expect crazy stuff to happen, I mean, I am a ninja. If it doesn't happen to me, I'll make it happen on accident,... or on purpose... sometimes.

I, Shinobi Jim, Ninja Master and recipient of the Certificate of Awesomeness have been snuck upon. Completely out of nowhere. Entirely unexpected. Starting Saturday... she popped up on my chat bar on facebook, and that's what we did. We chatted. Two HOURS later at 1:30am I went to bed, but not to sleep. My head was still buzzing. Our conversation had been... bold here and there... which made it pretty fun, and she gave me her number and said I could call anytime. Yeah, ANY time. But that is kinda hard for me, I don't want to bother people. Still I tried calling her and things didn't match up that next night, but we texted a bit. She finished off with saying she'd call me the next day.

Guess what she did... She called. Sweet right!? I was asleep. Not sweet. I called her back after her text woke me up (An entire ringtone playing didn't do anything..). We talked for a while but I had class, and then there was FHE later so she said I could call her afterward. ...If I wanted to. I wondered: "if I wanted to", guess who else sounds like they might want me to.. Later she texts me saying her activity is done, and is mine too? It wasn't. When it was, I called her and we started talking, and kept talking, through the ride home (in a car full of people who laughed and teased at what they were listening to), and continued past the point where I had to plug in my phone to keep it from dying. Then her phone died haha and she called back. So.. we have trouble saying goodbye, like we say goodnight, and then someone mentions one last thing and then twenty minutes later we're still talking. Yeah, kinda makes me think she doesn't mind very much. I don't mind either. That was a two and a half hour conversation + the 45 minute conversation we had earlier that day 3 hours 15 minutes.

Then I didn't call the next day. My reasoning on this is that we don't know each other very well, and we have never met, though we served in the same mission(she got there a transfer before I left), so I don't want to seem like I expect to have her attention every day for two+ hours. That seems awfully presumptuous of me. And that I don't know her schedule and don't want to just interrupt things all the time. I don't want to bug her.

Then I didn't call her the next day either. I kinda wanted to, but I didn't know how she would feel about that. I don't want to wear out my welcome before I even meet her for real. However, when I pulled out the ol' Lappy 486 she pops up again on my chat and we started talking again. During this "until 2am at which point my dad comes out and says it's time to go to bed" conversation it becomes fairly transparent that I don't bug her. I found out because she made up a few equations including this one: you= you don't bug me. That was the one at the end after the "it's okay to call whenever" and "6am= tired + not fun" equations plus others. I learned that I can push her buttons pretty good and we get into some spats of bantering that were really fun. :) This girl is fun,... and really pretty. I will be calling her tonight.

My favorite thing was the last six minutes of the conversation :) It was awesome.
But this isn't the place for that. ;)
but this is \/\/\/
01:51J \\ ....i think you like me..
01:51girl \\ you said it, not me. \\ hahahahha \\ j/k \\ we'll see- we'll see. \\ ... \\ there is a possibility. \\ and you?
01:52J \\ ... me what?
01:53girl \\ ! \\ oh my goodness, James. Honestly. \\ Do you like me?
01:54J \\ hahahaha \\ oh man, your buttons! \\ yes i do
01:55girl \\ you push one more button, and i'm gonna break that button-pushing finger of yours. \\ :D all in good jest, of course. \\ there, was that so hard for you to just say?
01:57J \\ :) good night beautiful girl

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Minor rantings

School started again. Well, it's been going for a couple weeks now, but whatever. That means less hanging out and more homework. How am I supposed to conduct a social life with a bunch of crazy things to do? Okay, so i have a pretty good social life. And no my classes aren't that bad. Actually I kinda like them. Especially the dance one.

People tell me I'm a great guy and that girls would love to spend time with me and all that, yet... no girlfriend, and no prospects. Well, not that I have tried really hard, and I'm not desperate, I know there are a couple girls that would want to date me, but really... um they're kinda creepy. So, according to the consensus I'm "...funny, smart, confident, good looking, interesting, nice, chivalrous, spiritual, talented(plays guitar, does calligraphy, etc.), goes shoe shopping," etc., but somehow, that doesn't do it. I constantly see guys, that girls I've talked to think are sub par, dating people and having a great time. So what's the difference? What makes them date-able and me not? One girl, whom I am very good friends with, told me that she felt I was the type of person she felt like she'd like to end up with, but she wouldn't want to date me if she knew she wasn't ready to get married. Someone else said something similar too. So I guess I am the goal, and I won't get a girlfriend till I get married. But wait, that's frustrating... how am I supposed to learn stuff? From NOT experience...? mmmkay.. Maybe I get to learn from all the different friendships I have and glean the appropriate knowledge from all my interpersonal relationships. Oh wait- that's what I've been doing.

I just want to surprise someone sometimes... it hasn't seemed to work in the past: Surprise. I want to talk to someone and just talk, or talk about life stuff, or just hear someone's voice for a while. I want to go shopping for fun and just look at cool shoes and pick out stuff for her to try on. That's fun. I like doing nice things and I don't get a chance other than the regular door holding or compliments.

Sorry, just a little frustrated sometimes. The only girls that like me are really young and still in high school mentally, really creepy, or really awkward. The girls I like, the smart, funny, interesting, talented, pretty ones* seem to only like jerks and showy rich guys with no real class.


*why yes, I do like pretty girls, you see... they are pretty, which makes them nice to look at. No I don't think that makes me shallow, you girls like your men good looking don't you? And yes, I'd like to be attracted to them in more than one way, hence the other qualifications.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Faces of Epic

I have a cousin.

He is a ninja. I know, I know awesome right? Well here is the most awesome part, I am also a ninja so naturally we hang together from time to time. What is the outcome of this event? Pure unadulterated epicness!

I have a friend, he is a ninja... see paragraph B. Sometimes, well, actually, all the time pretty much, awesome happens. here is a conversation we had today:

An epic tale:
oh, the future! What lengths we will go to for the future. Oh the plans we have made and the dreams we create for the future.
I like that... I think I'll write a song.
good luck with that
thank you
youre not welcome
Hiya!!! your arms are mine suckah!!
too bad for you i already killed you with my mind
too bad I traveled back in time and saved myself
too bad i knew what you're going to write
cuz I traveled thru time again
that's how
therefore creating a paradox so those demon things from dr who could appear and destroy you
ah ha
that's where you're wrong
I thought of that and stopped the paradox from forming
You're welcome
no you didnt
oh, and in the hub-bub I had to give you your arms back at the instant I took them so you didn't feel anything.
then why are my arms sore?
well, there was a brief moment there... sorry, i wasn't perfect, but you have to admit for the amount of damage, I did pretty good.
yes, you must have time travelled because as you know, yesterday i couldn't even lift my arms

So in case you're wondering, this kind of thing happens a lot, and of course when you're in the room you get to be part of the spontaneity. If you hang out with us, you will pee your pants, but luckily there are usually bathrooms nearby.

Epic things
Ninjas are epic.
And dragons are too
Swords you say? Yes,
Your statement is true.

Clowns? No,
Sorry you're wrong.
I guess you're not epic
You silly ding-dong.

Masquerades, cheese,
Christmas and mountains
Wells made for wishing
And Greek Goddess Fountains

Puppies with rail guns
Ion particle beam cannons
Link with the Master Sword
Chopping guts of one Gannon

A trillion watt stereo
Decimating a planet
And a moonwalking Michael
Though not that freak Janet

Legos? fuh real
Matt's such a smart friend
Mech warriors and starships
Ninja battles without end.

I wrote a Costanza
Wait-- now I'm confused...
OH! Stanza that's right
That's what I shoulda mused

Muse, now that's epic
If you've heard them you know
You feel indestructibly beautiful
Like you's a vampire fo sho

S'there's a template of epic.
So now go and find
Epic things all around you
And the ones in your mind.

Sunday, January 17, 2010


The other day I had the "Phantom of the Opera" song 'Masquerade' going through my head, I guess I was just really excited about the new masks I had bought, and I couldn't think of what the words were. This is what was going thru my head: "MASQUERADE!! Bluh-muh-muh-muh-uh-pleh-puh. Masquerade..." The real words are: "MASQUERADE!! Pretty faces on parade. Masquerade, hide your face so the world will never find you..."

Speaking of masks though, I won the contest. :) I'm okay with that. If you look below you'll see all the mask ideas I came up with and the 'Fleur de Lis' was the voted winner. Kenn actually made one as well, though I think it would look better with some contrast like gold/silver plumes on dark (but bold) blue. As is it's two tones of gold. Still looks pretty cool.

A friend of mine and I were talking about getting some people involved in having a masquerade party, and I like the idea. Like, a lot. I am trying to figure out how and when to do it and I think having a more simple party the first time would be great, and a way to spark a little interest in a group. Yeah, you should be a part of the greatness. I told my cousin's wife and she starts getting that look in her eyes, you know that one that looks like Brain from "Pinky and the Brain" when he talks about some great idea. Yeah, that one. Only not evil, just plotting. Before long she has this plan coagulating in the neural pathways and I get a little nervous. She is a fantastic planner, it's just that she can sometimes get a little carried away, so we came up with a word we can use in case of emergencies. It's "Dominion". I like that word.

I'm listening to the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack. I didn't realize that till just now, it's been going for several minutes now. You're welcome.

I got three new masks. I don't think I would have done that, but with winning the contest I got $100 and though I could have used the money in a lot of different ways, I pumped it all into masks. Hahaha, oh boy... yeah I may have a problem. I'll get help. They are pretty sweet though, and now I have four masks.

Thursday, January 7, 2010


Swords are awesome. I like them.

That's the one I want. I want it for my character Akos Amun Semajj.

I had a mask custom made for him too, you can see it in the first picture of the previous post.

These are the swords I have, well, the good ones.

So this is my sword I got first. It's from Musashi Swords.

And this is what my Oniyuri looks like. It's a smaller blade in a normal sized saya so as to be sneaky and trick other swordsmen. These would be carried by ninja assassins so they would look like normal samurai and walk unnoticed through a town, and then when the time came to strike, they could draw their sword faster than anyone else.

I like these things. Metal and sharpness in a beautiful form.