Thursday, October 6, 2011

All Men Are Jerks?

"New motto for life: All men are jerks; until proven otherwise"
~Some frustrated young woman who had perhaps a handful of poor experiences and has therefore written off 3.5 Billion individuals who MUST be exactly like the few she's met.

You know, not all guys are jerks. I'd like to express my feelings on the subject at the risk of sounding like one. Expecting every guy to be a jerk until they prove to you that they aren't is unfair. If I walked into a room and even just one girl turned into a withdrawn storm cloud inspecting me for any faults I will guarantee I'm not going to talk to her even if I can't tell why she's acting like that. Actually, come to think of it, if I did know then I would especially not talk to her! Why not accept the challenge to uphold chivalry and honor and prove myself to her? Because I dislike silly games, besides the fact that nobody likes to be scrutinized for their imperfections.

If you're expecting flaws and imperfections, how does this allow you to give anyone the benefit of the doubt? This mentality only hurts the individual who mistakenly thinks themselves the better for it. You expect failure and imperfections and will, consciously or not, find them, become dissatisfied, and chalk it all up to that guy being a jerk too. It's kind of funny how ironically hypocritical it is to hold this sort of position. You think every guy is a jerk so you decide you're going to make them prove they aren't before you...what? trust them? respect them? let yourself be nice? stop making sarcastic jabs at them? Wait... I'm confused, who's the jerk?

Ok, ok, so maybe they just want assurance that he's not flaky or rude or something before they allow themselves to be interested. (why did I jump to that angle? Well, the above quote sounds like many such statements made by girls frustrated with the current ex-man-of-their-dreams.) This has probably stemmed from a tendency they developed over time which had them becoming interested in certain types of guys, a majority of which are jerks. The "Bad Boy" with his motorcycle and dislike for authority make it seem like adventure and excitement will fill every moment. But his dislike for authority probably comes with side effects like a dislike of trying to see other points of view and a disregard for others' feelings or wishes.

I don't want this to turn into an in depth look at all the types of guys that tend to be jerks. I'd rather tell you that most guys are not jerks, it's just that the most vocal and noticeable guys are usually the ones that do whatever they want and don't care what others think. Unfortunately, that can often translate to not caring what you think. Most good guys just don't know that they need to not be too nice. It makes them look like pushovers or like they aren't directed and sure of themselves and that makes girls not feel like that guy is confident enough to make things happen. So the girl goes for the jerk who seems like he can. Guys, step up and tell her you'd like to take her out on a date, tell her which days will work for you and then ask her if either of those days will work for her. Be confident, keep your chin level and look her in the eyes. Always treat every girl with respect, open doors, don't make fun of them, keep your language clean and above all, be a man. What I mean by that is, live your life, stay busy, be productive, and be kind to those around you. Girls will notice. At least the ones who aren't still rummaging through the garbage heap trying to find something that isn't there.

Girls, please notice the guys that are kind and good. Stop thinking that arrogant pigs will be nice to you and get over yourselves.

Thank you.

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