Monday, May 16, 2011

The Tiger in Me

I'm not even sure what I want to write about.

Emotions are powerful things. Important things. Sometimes it's important to pull yourself away from them for a moment so you can see the bigger picture. Sometimes you have to hold onto an emotion and let it fill the moment.

It's interesting how my own personal state is so greatly affected by others and the interactions of their lives with mine.

I find this to be much like a dance, perhaps a reel or something, where all persons are engaged and dancing their steps but depending on the level of effort and/or accuracy the dance may be enjoyable or rather frustrating. Many such dances have you switching partners after each set of steps. Two such are: Lucky Seven, and The Gay Gordons both of which are performed in a circle. Upon completion of the foundational steps in The Gay Gordons your partner moves to the next person and you receive a new one at the same time with whom you will now dance the original steps again. This is repeated until the music is done and is quite a lovely dance to watch (and to do if you know it! ;).

In Lucky Seven dancers take hands in a large ring and dance a few steps in unison...

after which the ladies turn to the gentleman on their left and the gentlemen to their right and prepare to weave in opposite directions, each taking the hand of the next person coming into range...

until they arrive at the seventh person and perform a behind the back spin placing everyone back at the proper positions to begin the set again! It is very fun but very tiring and you're never partners with anyone for long.

So, 'what the heck' you say? Well, let me tell you what I'm talking about. People sometimes fluctuate in and out of our lives, or perhaps up or down in the level of influence in our lives and it is like a dance. Decisions and actions taken by you or them form the steps that move you through the dance, drawing sometimes closer to some, and further from others. Emotion is tied closely with dancing and when one is in harmony with their partner and the music it is almost euphoric. When the steps are out of sync, or you stumble through the cadence of the music the dance becomes painful.

Waiting is hard to do. I hate trying to be patient for something that I really want. I'm usually not when it comes to stuff. I was interested in building a computer so I did. I like swords and when I see a really cool one I want to have it. I'm much better at not buying swords though, since there's not much to justify $200 for a thing I'll put in the corner. But I sure do like sharp shiny metal things. It's different when it's not stuff. The intangible is so much harder to wait for. I feel like my heart is saying, "Are we there yet?! Are we there yet?! Are we there yet?!" and I have to keep saying, "No. No. Look I'll tell you when we get close, ok?"

So, the tiger in me wants to pounce, but any good jungle cat knows sometimes you have to wait it out. Never let your eyes wander from your goal, but use time instead of force, and let your prey come to you.

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