Overheating Is Bad For You

Well, that's what I get for feeling like everything was actually going right for once.

My aunt and uncle are blessing their baby tomorrow about 25 minutes away and we have been having family gatherings the last two days so I have been driving down there a bit recently. However, it wasn't until tonight on my way back that I noticed the temperature gauge reading all the way over to hot on my engine. That's not good. I parked and checked and lookie there I'm leaking coolant like there's no tomorrow, but the thing is there is a tomorrow and I need my car. Did I blow a gasket or a hose or something? gee-whiz! And it's looking like the levels are reeeeally low, or maybe gone for the coolant so that's not good and I can't really go buy some in the morning because 1. it's Sunday, and B. it's 9am church I need to get to.

I am not a happy camper right now. >:-(

Hey You! You Are Amazing!

Hey you, thanks for reading my blog. That's right you. I love you. You are great, you are incredible. People don't appreciate you and all you do, but someday, someDAY they will. And they'll be all like, "Man, why didn't we appreciate them more back when we didn't?! We really missed out."

You have striking features. Anyone ever tell you that? I'm serious, your eyes... wow. And you know what? You make me smile. Every time I think about you...*ding* there it is, a smile right there on my face. Because you are amazing, that's why. Speaking of smiles, you have a fantastic one, so just keep on smiling and making the world a better place.

You make my life better just because I know you.

You're such a hard worker too. I admire that. You are an inspiration to me, thank you. Because of you, I want to be a better person and give more of myself.

You are strong, you are powerful, you are beautiful, you are without equal.

So keep it up, keep being amazing, and incredible because some of us really love it that you are.



inspiration for this message from here

Man Country

So, I recently moved out of my parents' house and have been in a room in a house with a few other guys and I don't really have the means to put up shelves or make things awesome the way I want to. This was fixed by my birthday present from them. My mom had come over to check out my new digs and upon talking to my dad said that I needed help putting up shelves to which he replied: So what you're saying is, 'he needs to have some tools so he can take care of it himself.'

My dad is extremely knowledgeable when it comes to construction and building stuff. When I was little if ever there was an issue with a toy or something not working I would just go to dad and minutes later it was fixed. This led to the coining of the phrase: Daddy fic-itz!! I used to be challenged when it came to talking, but I just kept practicing and now I'm really good at talking, like, I won't stop so be careful. Anyway, he knows lots of stuff and so I pretty much always know that what he suggests with tools or how to fix stuff is basically the best way to do it, or best tool for the job. They got me a toolbox, a speed square, a Black & Decker drill, a set of bits from Bosch, and a level. I have this overwhelming feeling that I have stepped foot into manhood and there is no turning back. I feel funny... Why is this happening to me? Is this real life? David, like you I have these questions but for me the effect will not subside in a few hours. I'm a man for ever.








Picture from here

Societal Terror

That's right folks, I am officially a menace to society. Never thought it would happen, always imagined when I was little that I'd be married and have at least one kid by now. That's ok though, I think things tend to happen at the right times for us in our lives.

A friend of mine said a couple weeks ago, upon my mention of this impending doom, that I still had plenty of time because she had heard of someone, or knew someone, I don't remember which, who had called the wrong person and ended up talking for 6 hours with her and they ended up getting married. So, she said, just start going through the ward (congregation) list and see if you end up talking to anyone for 6 hours and then marry her. Sound advice to be sure, but unfortunately the day has come and my phone frenzy has left me no nearer to the goal. Just kidding, I didn't call every girl.. I don't know if I could handle that... There was only one real problem with her strategy: her number was not on the list as she had recently moved. But don't worry, I already have it. ;)

Yesss!!

I have been needing this, and now....

IT'S HERE!

MWAHAHAHAHA

Harry Potter

It has been a thrilling ride this past decade +. And since J.K.Rowling began writing the tale of Harry's adventures around 7 years after Harry's adventures started, the story was done when the books began. That is to say Harry, Ron, and Hermione were celebrating the defeat of Voldemort when she published the first book, so now those little young'uns are just about to head off to Hogwarts.

I think it's awesome how a whole generation has grown up with this epic tale of good versus evil. Good always prevails! It's not without sacrifices, sometimes great ones, but in the end love conquers all. In this case I'm not referring to romance, just capital L-O-V-E, the all encompassing enabling power in the heart that gives courage in dark times, peace in tumultuous times, strength when you need it most, and builds unity and loyalty infinitely more powerful than fear-mongering and coercion. I like Harry Potter. It is a great tale.

I'd like to thank my good friend Steph for having a Mom who has a sister that reserved a whole theater for us to watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt II at 9pm opening night, that rocked. I went as Waldo dressed as Harry Potter. I liked it.

Oh and by the way, Harry celebrated his 31st birthday yesterday on July 31st. Happy Golden birthday Harry!

Just Around The River Bend

So, you know Pocahontas? Not the actual person, sheesh, she's been dead for hundreds of years! I mean the overly romanticized story loosely based on historical fact that Disney produced. Yeah, it's awesome how she's like 20 instead of like 14 like she was supposed to be. I digress, Pocahontas is awesome. She sings about everything and in one song she talks about the future and all the exciting things you don't know that are coming just around the river bend.

I'm moving this week. Just sort of decided at the beginning of the month that I was really going to do it, and found a place and now I'm moving.

I don't really like packing. I remember on the mission not liking it, and just like lima beans my opinion has not changed. I don't have to pack everything though, just the stuff I'll need and the things I want to have with me... (compy this is you, and also my swords, you all can come too!)

I am kind of excited to be "growing up" and living away from my parents. It's more expensive than mooching, but I think it's time to get out of the nest. My folks have been not super excited with me having a social life that doesn't end at 10pm, and they act like if I'm not home for dinner that I'm not trying to be a part of the family. Then they ask why I don't act more grown up (what does that even mean?) or why it is that I'm not married. Um, I don't know, maybe because I get lectures for not having a girlfriend and then when I am interested in a girl I get lectures about appropriate dating practices and how I shouldn't just focus on one girl.

Time to move out, live my life, be the man I want to be, marry the woman I want to marry, go to school for what I want to go to school for, etc.

Glimpses of the Puzzle

I'm going to refer to Shutter Effect in this post so if you haven't read that one, do it now.

Ok, you're back, good. What? you never left? you didn't go read that one? I'll wait...
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Ok, now you're back. Good.

So, I mentioned how sometimes I see memories of things I have never seen, and later (in the fourth paragraph) that I had feelings that what I was seeing was where I belonged. I don't really know how to describe what I experienced the other day, but I'll give it a shot. Usually, these visions are kind of ambiguous and unclear. However, instead of getting a vague sort of longing or ambiguous picture of things, this time I feel like I got a glimpse of an actual puzzle piece in it's proper place. Now, maybe this isn't like an actual "And it shall come to pass..." type of thing, but it was weird that for a moment, it made perfect sense and seemed totally comfortable. And then the glimpse dissolved like a sand painting in a gust of wind, and I was left looking at the physical world and at the object that had triggered this snapshot of a vision.

You know how when you zone out and come back by yourself (as in nobody really noticed that you were out of it and snapped their fingers in front of your face) and then for a second you don't really know what is going on or how long you were out, and you wonder if anyone noticed but was too nice to just snap their fingers in front of your face? Yeah, I did that. I don't think I was out of it for long, but it was slightly disconcerting not to know if I missed anything. At least I had retained control over my face and I hadn't started drooling or anything. Actually I'm pretty sure this little lapse in consciousness only lasted for a split second, so there really wasn't enough time for anything weird to happen, luckily.

Anyway, I have been trying to stay calm and not freak out, and have had roughly the same level of success as a small child has when trying to patiently await Christmas three days beforehand.

Our Daily Bread

This morning I received news that a neighbor had passed away after his battle with cancer. He had been in a lot of pain recently so it was a blessing that he was taken home. My emotions were pretty close to the surface as I recalled the many memories I had of this exceptional man. He was a bear of a man, large and imposing, but so humble and kind you knew he would be just the right person to trust and rely on. He had always had something positive to say, and encouraged everyone to be their best.

Recently I went on a camping trip with some friends and as I walked to my friend's house I saw him and his wife sitting on their front porch. He was looking weaker and was in a wheelchair, but his eyes were the same: warm, and safe. He asked me how I was, and if I was staying out of trouble. His voice was strained with the effort of speaking loud enough for me to hear, but I could hear his signature kindness and concern in his tone. We exchanged a few words then I wished him well and he me, encouraging me, as he always did, to be my best. Those were the last words I exchanged with him.

Each day we rely on the same being for our daily bread. He makes the Earth turn, plants grow, sun shine, and rivers flow, and He does it all for us. He gives us our breath, and has placed us here to earn our bread by the sweat of our brow. My neighbor was a good example of working hard and trusting in the Lord. Then, yesterday, he finished his labors and left this world to enter the next.

I love that man. It was always easy to do, because he loved everyone and you knew it too.

Why I Choose Video Games Over Girls

I can hardly even begin to describe to you how unmotivated I am right now in regards to dating and relationships in general. Actually, I'm not really a fan of human interaction right now.

I don't really know why exactly, but there seems to be a pattern of some kind which repeats itself over and over, and I think I know a few of the ingredients. Every once in a while I just lose all momentum, or energy for trying to connect with people. All I want to do is pull back into my fortress of solitude. I feel like my emotional well has but a few drops at the bottom, and I need it to rain.

I sometimes love the rain. There is a sweet serenity in the torrent of tiny plummeting droplets.

I love to love, I have said this before. Forgive the weak analogy; our hearts are like batteries and love is the charge in them. You can use the charge for just about anything but if you don't receive a charge back eventually your charge runs out. Now, from a Christian standpoint we will always be sustained by God so you should be fine in life, and yes that's true, but I just want to look at people right now. I go through times where I try, and I give, and I make efforts, and after months of it... it's still just me and my human relationship batteries are low.

Sorry, that is an imperfect analogy.

I feel like I could probably try for just a little longer and something might just be right there a few steps away, waiting just over that hill, or right around the corner. But man, I'm so tired of giving, and spending hours planning and thinking and trying and doing nice things and buying flowers and paying for everything. You know what? fill out an application for my time and I'll get back to you. And this is why I turn to video games. They love you back. I start the game, I play it, and it is exactly what I hoped it would be. Then I stop and I am satisfied and everything was great.

I don't like it when I stop caring. I want to care, I love caring. I just want someone to care back, to reciprocate. I really don't like that I feel so apathetic to the whole thing because there's this really awesome girl that I am completely impressed with, she's amazing, like, for real, and interesting and I could seriously just listen to her talk for hours, and she's gorgeous and I haven't the slightest clue why she even talks to me, but she does. I haven't called her all week. I should. She's awesome.

I feel so tired.

I need it to rain.

FOURTH OF JULY!!!

Happy Fourth of July everybody, hope you get to watch fireworks and have just a grand ol' time. Be safe, and have fun!

Muah!

The Silence is Deafening

After you say everything you could possibly say, the proverbial ball is most definitely in the other person's court. So, when you don't hear anything for a while it is pretty unnerving. I feel like breaking the silence, but what else is there to say? Luckily for me life keeps happening and I am still a part of it.

Yesterday a friend called me at 12:40 am and was a bit stressed about things. I did my best to calm her down and we ended up talking until 3:30-ish... What?!

I am pretty pumped about the long weekend, and hopefully there will be tons of fun stuff to do. If I don't post before then, Happy Fourth of July everybody!

500

Yesterday at about 7pm my blog received its 500th view. That deserves a party. Let's all get together, that's right people of the interweb, we must come together and have, as they say, "a grand ol' time".

I'd like to thank the academy for being self-centered and having nothing to do with my blog whatsoever. I'd also like to thank a random stranger for potentially viewing my blog and making the world a better place. I mostly just want to see their reaction to being thanked. I think it would be a riot!

I'd like to thank you, my readers, and especially you, whom I have interacted with and learned from and written about. Thank you for teaching me, sparking thoughts, and helping me see the world a little bit differently.

You rock :-)

Alternator

So two weeks ago my car died in the middle of the intersection directly under the freeway overpass. You know, the one with cars going every which way? Yeah, well, it just cuts out and I throw it in neutral to get over to the side where there's some space and start trying to ask someone to give me a jump. It was about 10:45 pm though, and I was wearing my fedora and Michael Jackson-esque jacket, so I must have looked kinda scary. No one wanted to help me.

It was sad.

Then this police officer pulled over and asked me what was wrong and I told him and he pulled around to give me a jump. I got my car running but it died again the moment the cables were disconnected so I figured the alternator must not be providing voltage like it should. He was kind enough to wait a while and let his system charge mine up a bit and I was able to get down the hill and to the gas station, all with a police escort mind you! That was pretty cool.

I had to leave it there overnight and get a ride from my mom back home. I called a few people the next day to see if anyone would be able to help me and had to finally call my cousin (what's family for right?) and he was able to lend a hand. I really didn't want to get towed somewhere so I instead spent that 100+ dollars on a new battery to get it home and then go from there. I have a friend who offered to help me if it turned out to be the alternator and I called him up and made plans to fix it the next day.

We went to AutoZone and got the part I needed and started in on the repair. In many a car the alternator is pretty easy to get to just sitting on the side of the engine and all you do is take off the belt, unplug the wires, remove three or four bolts and ta-DA! you're done. Then you just put the new one in and bolt it, plug it in, and put on the belt and then you're really done. And that should take an hour or less. But does anything ever happen the way it "should"? HAHAHAHAHA that is a good one, NO of course not! My alternator is right under the engine and above the A/C compressor and right behind the fan, so it's super awkward to get at. Unless I have a winch I ain't getting at it from the top and I ain't got no winch. So, the only other option is to jack up the car and get to it from the bottom which means you have to pull off the A/C compressor but not let it hang by the hoses or if they come off you'll have coolant and crap all over the place. Then you have to fit a wrench in there and blindly take out the bolts and the last bolt is sort of resting in a little groove so you have to lift the bottom of the alternator while rocking the top down and forward. By the way, your arm is in this weird position so lifting and holding and moving a heavy object is reeeeeeaaaaallllyyy difficult. Then you have to put the new one in by reversing the process.

Now, usually it is pretty easy once you have all that done to just throw on the belt turn on the engine and check everything. However, the belt tensioner, which is a little pulley on an adjustable arm that provides the tension necessary to hold the belt on and at a comfortable working tightness, was not moving. the bolt head that you would put a socket wrench on was stripped and so we had to pry the belt on using multiple screwdrivers.

And so we completed the job and it only took three hours. That's only three times longer than it "should" have taken. I drove home and was pleased that I wouldn't be doing THAT again.

I drove it to the trax station twice and to church and then I went on vacation and my car sat there for a little more than five days and then I noticed my lights were a bit dim on Monday when I got back and it started doing that same pre-dying sort of stuff that it had done the first time. I got home and cleaned the battery terminals and that seemed to get rid of the problem, a bit of corrosion had probably gotten in the way of the connection. The next day I got the same reluctance when I started the car and I started checking the voltage on the system. Turns out the battery was being drained which means I was probably running off the new battery the whole time I had the new alternator, and the alternator was probably bad! *Primal yell!!!*

Are you KIDDING ME?!

I could only hobble down to Big-O and they said they would check it for me. I was already late for work and my mom, bless her for her patience, took me to the trax station. The next morning I got the car and sure enough the alternator was bad. Oh. My. Goodness. I was going to punch something. I had had plans to go out to a movie with someone, yes a girl, and this was like throwing several wrenches into the works. My good friend said he'd help me again since we would know what we were doing this time and it wouldn't take as long. This was good because I wanted to see about catching a late showing of the movie if possible.

I had called the AutoZone and told them what was up and how I needed a new alternator, preferably one that worked, and they said they had one that they would test and hold for me. When I got there just a few hours later, they said they didn't have it anymore. Good one guys, nice. So they called the store a few miles up the road. They had one, yay! Before taking it, I asked them to test it and it failed. The guy said he had never seen that happen before, and we were like, "We have. Twice." I asked him to call one of the other stores to see if they had one and to make them test it before we drove over there and he said that he would as long as they weren't busy. I said that I didn't care if they were busy make them test it because if I walked through that door, I'd be making them test it anyway. They said it passed and we went to pick it up. So, now we were only two hours behind schedule.

The process went much the same only this time it only took two hours to do, which would have been a great thing and I could have gotten home and cleaned up before the movie, but as it was with the extra two hours tacked on I wasn't going to get home until the movie had already started. That was a bummer.

Stupid car parts not working.

Heart to Heart

Letting people see the soft and vulnerable places of our hearts can be one of the hardest and most scary things to do. It's kind of funny though, because letting people see that you are human allows them to be close to you. As someone shares their thoughts, fears, joys, hopes, dreams, failures, triumphs, and heartaches, you can't help but love them even more. We are so afraid of letting people in. We need to let people in.

How do you let something go when all you want to do is hold it tighter? It's the weirdest thing to sit next to someone you love and be ok with letting them go if you have to. It's not my favorite feeling mind you, but in a painful sort of way it's kind of comforting. I guess it's not painful, more heartache-y, in a happy melancholy way. Man that's a hard emotion to describe. Sitting on the sidewalk watching Scorpio dance across the sky, I realized I loved you.

I hope I have what it takes to follow my own advice. We sometimes long for things to come back, for doors to open again and let us in. When a door closes we want nothing more than for that door to be opened to us again, we would do things differently, we would be better, we would do whatever it took for that door to open just one more time. This breaks my heart because I have felt this many times before. Many, many times. But if we stand there, holding that closed door, willing it to open, staring at its surface, wishing we could get inside, or even just see inside again, we will miss every other door God opens for us. There may even be a better door just a few steps away, wide open. Until we let go and walk away from the closed door, we can never be content without it. We will always be stuck, we won't progress, we will become fearful and uncertain about many other things, and disappointment, guilt, and endless "if only"s will weigh down our souls. Who knows, that door might open again. But if it does and all we did was stare at it the whole time and make plans for how we would change and do things right, will we really, truly be ourselves, or will we constantly be striving to be what we think they want us to be? What kind of life is that?

It can be so hard to let go. But then my thoughts turn to the most famous line of John Greenleaf Whittier's poem Maud Muller: "For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these: 'It might have been!'" I think we usually use this line to describe how we feel about the doors that are closed to us, but I feel like this describes even more poignantly the doors that stand so long open, but then close when we choose not to see them. It makes me wonder, "what am I not seeing that God would that I should have?"